My brother, Doug, celebrated a birthday yesterday. He is now undeniably in his 70’s. Seventy two, in fact. As I sat thinking about him yesterday, I found myself reliving our lives together. He has known me longer than any living person – and the reverse is true as well. Nobody knows our childhood the way the two of us do and each year I take stock of the changes that have occurred during the past twelve months.
While we grew up in the same family, we had childhoods that did not necessarily mirror each other. We liked different foods, had our own circles of friends and saw life through different lenses. Yet there is something sacred about the bonds of a brother. Ken, our youngest brother, died in February, 2020, and that means that Doug and I are the only ones left from our nuclear family. All of our grandparents are gone, as well as Mom and Dad. In fact, there were nine of us who are first cousins and now five of us are gone…
I think the biggest change was when Ken died. In an indescribable sort of way, Doug and I both realized that life was forever changing. We have both continued in our respective careers. Doug is a fantastic surgeon southwest of Chicago and I have continued to work in the corporate world with my consulting clients.
But it is clear that this year has brought both of us to new seasons of our lives, even though I am 21 months older than Doug. I finished my assignment with my last client in March of this year and Doug is also simplifying his life. It goes without saying that we are continuing to grow even closer throughout our later years and our support for one another is steadfast and strong.
We look at the world in a similar way but from different points of view. Between the two of us, we can discuss almost any issue from different perspectives and arrive at the same conclusion. I am still the older brother and that is a mantle that I have taken very seriously since the earliest of days. I still feel compelled to offer “older brother” advice in keeping with the way I was raised as an eldest child.
Both of us have had several careers and we have both found great satisfaction in the paths that the Lord has put us on. It is clear that both of us are gifted in specific ways that we have been able to use for the glory of God. Doug is a fantastic doctor, surgeon and healer. I am incredibly proud of his accomplishments. I, on the other hand, have been more involved in the religious realm as I age. Each of us depends on the other for advice and counsel. It is a very comfortable and affirming relationship. Between the two of us, we serve mankind through physical means as well as, hopefully, affecting their eternal security.
It’s nice to know that there is someone out there who has known you since the beginning. As Doug and I periodically mention, we are the “last of the Mohicans.” And we are each other’s greatest supporters. There is something extremely comforting about our relationship. I don’t think that either of us, as children, ever considered what life would look like for us seven decades later.
The teachings of our parents and grandparents are still evident in our everyday lives. It is like a shorthand that goes unspoken between us. And it is joy to reminisce with Doug throughout the days of the year – but especially on these special occasions when we celebrate the milestones of each other. I love Doug and can’t fathom life without him.
Tonight’s verse is one that I have used in the past. It’s particularly convicting when we consider that God was asking a question about a sibling. Moses, the author of the Pentateuch, gives us the words of Jesus in Genesis 4:9. “Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Of course, God clearly believes that the answer is a resounding “YES!” We are reminded in the New Testament in several places that we are to serve and take care of others, especially family members.
My encouragement this evening is that God is clear that we are to love and care for one another. And as an older brother, it is absolutely imperative that I look out for my brother, even though we are both in our seventies. Because we are entering another season of our lives, together. What will that look like post retirement? How will we spend our remaining years? What will be important for us to do as it relates to our respective families? These answers are not particularly evident yet, to either of us.
My prayer this evening is that we will continue to be faithful as we age, pay attention the nudging of the Holy Spirit and make sure that we set ourselves up for our next season. Happy Birthday, Doug, and may God continue to bless you with love, peace, joy and clarity as you consider the coming years. Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…