From the time our grandchildren were born, we have tried to instill a sense of family and belonging in each of them. I found that such an important part of my own childhood that I wanted to carry on the tradition. And Janet’s parents did the same with her – she had a terrific foundation. We had already established a strong sense of unity with our children and I am pleased to say that our nuclear family, the five of us, even refer to ourselves as the Christian Mafia. It has become something of a family joke, especially with our grandchildren, but it’s all in good fun. We have modeled the behavior that we hope our grandchildren will adopt with one another.
When the grandchildren were born, we invented ways to get, and keep, them engaged in age appropriate games and lessons. It started with a trip to Williamsburg when our oldest grandson, Connor, was probably four years old. When we pulled over to a rest stop in Virginia (they are very nice, by the way), I made sure young Connor learned rule #1 – no smoking in the restrooms… Of course, he started laughing but to this day, he can tell you family rule #1. As the others came along, they all learned rule #1, and then several other rules along the way. They still kid each other about not breaking the family rules – I never dreamt that it would last this long, but it has been quite fun for more than 20 years now. And none of them even smoke!
One of the other lessons I taught is that family is very important. With that, we created several other rules. For example, you NEVER go against the family. And… we are not all the same – but our differences make us stronger so we need to celebrate our various strengths and leverage them for the benefit of the entire family.
Never have these lessons been more apparent than when we were asked to enter a trivia competition at church a number of years ago. It was an all church breakfast and we were sitting together at a table enjoying our meal when the fun began. Connor decided he wanted to sit with his friends at a different table. Even though his two younger brothers tried to entice him to stay with us, he made the move to his friend’s table. By the end of the contest, our table had prevailed and dominated the competition. Of course, we teased Connor mercilessly, but all in good fun. To his day, he still remembers it, and from then on, the boys would never think of sitting at a different table…
A week ago, we attended another church fundraiser and wouldn’t you know it? The entertainment was a trivia contest. Well, there were ten rounds and when all the dust settled, our family had once again prevailed. But this time, Connor didn’t have to be convinced to sit with us – neither did anyone else. As I write this post tonight, I am staring at the somewhat large, handmade, winner’s trophy that we were presented with at the end of the evening. We even had our picture taken together for posterity. And the kids were all discussing the rules of the family… We stick together and nobody goes against the family… and since we all have different spiritual gifts, we excel in different categories and have learned to trust one another – even our youngest members. There is no judgment for a wrong answer – just celebration when we get something right.
Frankly, this twenty plus year experiment has gone even better than I would have imagined and I think the family has really learned the lessons of sticking together, defending one another and celebrating our differences. Maybe the next generation will even figure out some sort of group name that they will identify with to bind them together, in addition to our family name, of course.
I am pleased to report that all of our children and grandchildren are believers in Jesus. I am often asked to explain Scripture passages or help them understand questions of theology. Of course, I don’t know all the answers, but I am thrilled that they aren’t afraid or hesitant to ask questions. Transparency and authenticity are such important traits for families to embrace – and we are so fortunate that these lessons are part and parcel of the way that we have learned to communicate with one another.
Our verse for tonight highlights the fact that God has created each person in His likeness with different styles, passions and spiritual gifts. Each of us is unique in God’s sight. The psalmist tells us, in Psalm 139:13-16, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
My encouragement this evening is that it is impossible spend too much time with our families. God puts special value in children – and the Scripture tells us that we should have the faith of a child. Children were dear to Jesus. My prayer is that even when our children and grandchildren are gown, we will continue to influence our families to walk in the way of the Lord, to respect one another and to realize that they are part of something unique in all the cosmos. Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…