For those of you who are younger, I’ll give you a heads up about the future. When you get to Medicare age (65 years old), chances are that in addition to your regular medical exams, your primary care physician may want you to take advantage of the annual wellness exam that Medicare wants you to have. When this first happened to me, about seven years ago, I thought it was just an extension of the physical stuff I was used to having. You know, blood pressure, listening to my heart, etc.
Just a warning – that’s not what it’s about… Frankly, it’s more like a mental competency assessment. It’s something that can help detect early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s. For example, you are given three words that you have to remember much later in the conversation, you have to draw a specific time on an analog clock face, remember a series of numbers (backwards and forwards) and listen to a long paragraph about a fictitious person; and then answer a series of questions about what you just heard. Oh, and I just remembered, you have to name at least 30 different animals in thirty seconds. I’m sure that in the safety of your home reading this at night or early in the morning, this sounds easy… go ahead, try it… especially the animal list…
Spoiler alert – it’s tougher than you think. The first year I kind of freaked out and missed 3 questions – my final score was 27/30. In subsequent years, the medical practice hired a specialist to conduct these exams. Lori, who I have come to know in the years since, has really become a confidante. Our annual meetings have become an event that I look forward to. Yesterday was the day for this year. Yes, I am still concerned about my blood pressure and sugar levels but I have come to love the time with her.
I find that I use this time to reflect on the past year and the changes in my life that have occurred. I am closer to retirement and how am I handling that? I have noticed the increasing importance of family and no longer wonder whether I still have a patriarchal role to play. Yesterday, Lori made it quite clear that reflecting on these things, and focusing on the health of the family, is something that she wishes more families devoted time to. I never thought of it that way – after 50 years, it just comes naturally to me at this point.
I didn’t think these discussions would be so helpful, but they are. I actually look forward to my time with Lori each spring. It gives me a chance to organize my thoughts and discuss how to set the tone for the coming year with our family. I should also admit that it was scary at first and many folks I know have chosen to pass on this annual wellness exam. I don’t blame them, but for me, it’s helpful – even cathartic.
This year, the most important thing we discussed was the death of my friend, George. You may remember that he had ALS and I wrote about him last fall after his death of November 7th. I recalled mentoring him as a coach for 20 years and his call to me announcing his diagnosis a year ago. But the disease was brutal and George only survived about eight months. In a way, it was a blessing – it’s a horrible disease. And while George wanted me to walk with him and teach him to die well, I think he taught me much more that I could ever teach him. He was the mentor and I was the student for one of the most important lessons of my life.
I don’t think that I have ever seen someone face death with such courage and dignity – always thinking of others and not his own dire situation. I listened to his innermost thoughts and stories of when he dated his future wife, Bobby, more than 55 years ago. There were days that we didn’t even speak until I was ready to leave and prayed for George. I just held his hand for the 90 minutes that I was there. It was an honor and a privilege to accompany George on his final walk. I couldn’t help but be grateful as I recounted our years of friendship and the fragility of life. I miss my friend.
Lori probably doesn’t realize how important a role she plays in my life. No judgment – just an honest discussion about getting older and processing the important things that have happened since we last spoke. Perhaps a few suggestions on improving our health as we age but, for the most part, an assessment of the state of my mind and how I am doing as I grow older. As Christians, Lori and I also discuss our faith lives. I find that as I age, a strong faith is even more important to me than when I was younger.
Tonight’s verse just happens to speak to me, especially after meeting with Lori this week. The prophet Isaiah, in the Old Testament, gives us a promise of God. Isaiah recounts to his people the actual words of God, in Isaiah 6:4, “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
My encouragement this evening is that God walks beside us all the days of our lives – and always wants to be in deeper communion with us. My prayer is that we will continue to lean on the Father as we age and realize that as we grow older, we can’t necessarily do all the things that we are used to. We must depend on others to assist us and be willing to accept help without reservation or guilt. This is the circle of life… However, it’s important for me to share with you that I passed my exam with flying colors – 30/30! Woohoo! Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…