Janet and I have known each other since we were very young children. Our parents met back in the late 1950’s and, to be sure, both families were rather conservative. I’m sure that is part of the reason that everyone got along so well.
The Boyds and the Toussaints got together each New Year’s Eve to ring in the New Year and also many times throughout the year for dinners and just catching up. We only lived about half a mile from each other and when I was old enough to earn money by cutting grass, Mr. Boyd was one of my first clients. He paid me $1 per week and I remember when I finally got an increase to $1.25. Sometimes, Dad would go in and talk while I cut the grass and then we would go home together.
When Janet and I started dating, Janet’s curfew was midnight and mine was the same. My mother used to have a saying that “nothing good happens after midnight” and if you’re still talking, “you must be repeating yourself.” Janet’s mother thought the same way. In fact, our curfew didn’t change until we were married, literally.
Janet had to be in the house, and I had to be home, by midnight – period. Things were different back then and we didn’t contest the rules. After all, we both respected our parents and I knew that I would be in trouble if I didn’t honor the curfew. Janet’s folks were a little more lenient than mine but since our parents were such good friends, it was smart not to push the envelope too often.
Neither Janet nor I stayed up too late or thought too much outside the box back in those days. We were both anxious to get married after my junior year at the University of Illinois at Chicago and I was living with my grandmother after the death of my grandfather in the spring of 1972. We were engaged on Christmas Eve in 1972 and then married the following August.
As we wanted more and more latitude, my mother started telling us that we could make our own rules when we were finally married, but not until then. There were variations on the theme as well. We would also, of course, have the ability to raise our own children the way that we saw fit, but our folks were rather resolute that we would do things their way until we were out on our own.
More than 49 years later, Janet and I are still both rather conservative. We don’t stay up all night, have raised our children to love God and be involved in church, we love one another and are a pretty close knit family. In fact, I am fond of telling stories to our grandchildren about the old days and the way things used to be.
Several years ago, I wanted to watch a late movie. For years, it was our habit to head into bed at 11:00 pm and I couldn’t remember the last time that we had pushed the envelope. Janet was somewhat surprised that I wanted to watch the movie but I was determined. Somewhere, out of the depths of my being, I uttered, “Mom said we could…” I remember laughing about it… In fact, I hadn’t thought about Mom’s rules since we were going out when we were in our teens! After all, we were married and had our own children!
Now, almost half a century later, we periodically do things that we would never have done back in the day. So, whenever something happens that our parents may not have gotten behind, my mind goes back to when our folks said that we could make our own rules when we were married and had our own kids. In fact, I find myself using our “new-found freedom” more frequently these days – “Mom said we can!” To be sure, we both get a kick out of it – so many memories of curfews and dating.
Our verse tonight seems so simple and yet so appropriate. It doesn’t even need any explanation. Moses, the author of Exodus, gives us the ten commandments and tells us, in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
My encouragement this evening is that our parents always wanted the best for us and that pales in comparison to what the Lord wants for each and every one of His children. My prayer is that we will all honor the memory of our parents, instill family values in our children and grandchildren – and make sound decisions about our lives – after all, Mom said we can! Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…