Today marks the first February 29th that my brother Doug and I have faced since the death of our youngest brother, Ken, on February 29, 2020. Sometimes, I still can’t believe that he is gone, but the truth is that he suffered a cardiac event that made it impossible for the medical teams to sustain him indefinitely. It was another case of life being so fragile – one minute he was fine and the next moment there was a medical emergency. Throughout his life, Ken had a number of health issues and came through each time – except the last one…
I have always thought that February 29th is the greatest day of the year. If I had a choice of a day to be born on, it would be February 29th! I am reminded about how much I thought about this as a young child. But it never dawned on me that somebody in the family would actually enter into heaven on that special day – after all, what’s the chance of that… Well, one in 1461, the number days between actual February 29’s.
It’s one thing when your parents pass away. That’s expected. And when that happens the veil between you and death is torn so you are logically the next generation to face mortality. But to lose a younger sibling – that was totally out of the blue. His last week was a tough one. After all kinds of tests and assessments the doctors still couldn’t pinpoint the exact problem. We were told that he would need rehab and it would take time to recover.
Then things turned south. Overnight, Doug let me know that doctors were no longer optimistic about the future. I drove to Illinois that Saturday morning – Doug and I agreed that the compassionate course of action was to discontinue life support. While we were aware that the end would come quickly, it was one of the many blessings that occurred that day.
I prayed for Ken and our family as we asked God to welcome him home to heaven. One of the ministries of angels is to escort believers to heaven and and as soon as I prayed for this, Ken breathed his last. It was the most hopeful and peaceful promise of God that we saw in action that morning.
The day before, as Ken was losing touch with this world, he insisted that he had been in discussions with Mom and Dad. While Mom was definitely a believer, as was Ken, I have always worried that Dad passed having renounced his faith many years earlier. However, Ken’s insistence that he was in touch with both our parents gave me tremendous hope that Dad had somehow re-affirmed his faith and was, in fact, a believer as well.
I don’t ever think that I have experienced such sadness and despair in the midst of such joy and hopeful expectation as I had that morning. It was a feeling that I find difficult, even now, to put into words. It was truly, at least to me, an incredibly sacred, holy moment.
Doug and I made the arrangements for Ken and dealt with the necessary details that had to be taken care of. We contacted the cemetery and bought a headstone; having it placed in the family plot next to Mom and Dad. Doug and I held a private service – just the two of us – graveside. Now Doug and I are all that are left of our nuclear family.
This week, almost four years later, I have found myself reminiscing about our childhood in Chicago. I have worn my Cubs World Series sweatshirt – and my Vienna Beef hat with an image of a “real” Chicago hot dog. I have thought about our old home in Beverly and I have even remembered a special photo of Mom and Ken in front of Mom’s new 1964 Chevy Impala. It seems so strange – the things that I have been thinking about. But I believe it is all about working through the process, and grief, that have come with the death of Ken. Usually, I am helping others through this sort of thing – it’s much different this time.
While I truly believe that Mom, Ken and even, hopefully, Dad are in a much better place, I still miss all of them here. And I am once again reminded that we have to make the most of our days here to do everything we can enjoy and love our families while we have the time.
Our verse for tonight is from the apostle John. He was the disciple who was on fire for God and extolled the virtues of Jesus. One of the foundational verses about heaven is in his Gospel. We are given the words of Jesus, who tells us, in John 14:1-3 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”
My encouragement this evening is that God is always thinking about our eternal lives and is busy preparing the way for us. My prayer is that when our time comes, God will be gracious to us, send His angels to escort us into his presence and award us our crown with the admonition, “Well done, good and faithful servant…” Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…