Wishing My Life Away
I am not a very patient person. Never have been…. I am one of those type A personalities who drives hard and really has a difficult time being idle. I usually find myself wishing that some event was over so that I can get to the next one. Kind of stupid sometimes.
For example, I rush to the airport to get there early so I won’t miss a plane that doesn’t depart for several hours. Or like yesterday, when they announced a plane and gate change, I was in a hurry to get to the new location, only to sit and wait for an hour. Or how about when Janet and I go to the symphony or some other cultural event and I can’t enjoy myself because I am planning my early escape so I don’t have to fight the traffic.
I have gotten to the point that I can’t stand crowds. It just takes too long to get things done. I would rather not go to a football game or a basketball game if I am going to have to wait hours to get out of the parking lot. And, heaven forbid, I would much rather be moving on some small secondary road that waiting in a traffic jam on some major highway – and in the last two days I have waited almost an hour due to two separate traffic accidents that caused people to stop and rubberneck to see what had happened.
When I see a line, like people standing in a check-out line, I would almost rather drop my groceries and come back later. Sometimes it disturbs me that others aren’t nearly as concerned as I am with the trials of waiting for stuff to happen.
On top of that, I find that I wish for things to be be over. It is difficult for me to slow down and smell the roses, take my time, enjoy the journey and worry less about the destination. I guess that I am used to completing things – earlier than the deadline. So when I get stuck, it bothers me because I feel like I am wasting time. In summation, I am wishing my life away – clearing the current hurdle only to be confronted with the next one.
It’s time to slow down a little. Since Janet had her RA diagnosis, I have really tried to concentrate on the quality of the journey rather than making sure the result was exactly what I was expecting it should be. And I am seeing that she can’t go non-stop – she needs to rest more, which is a good thing. Perhaps I will be encouraged to kick it down a few notches with her.
Now this isn’t the first time I have tried to slow down a tad. Several years ago I tried , but it wasn’t long before I I found myself getting amped up a bit again. Little by little I have found myself back where I started from – wishing my life away trying to get on to the next thing.
So tonight seems like a good time to re-dedicate myself to a little slower pace of life. That doesn’t mean I have to give up any of my clients, or that I have to take more days off, but it probably does mean that I have to be more intentional about controlling time and how I choose to spent the hours of the day.
The verse for tonight reminds all of us that patience is, indeed, a virtue. From Col. 3:12, we are told by Paul, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” That’s a pretty exhaustive list. Especially the part about gentleness and patience. Most of us like to think of ourselves as compassionate, kind and even possibly humble. But let’s face it, gentleness is not something that I am known for – but neither is patience.
My encouragement tonight is that Christ wants us to emulate the behaviors that He modeled for us during His time on earth. And, He certainly exhibited gentleness; and patience. My prayer is that you will dial it back a notch or two and try to become a little less frantic or anxious about things. After all, God, and his Son, Christ, have your back; and they already know the outcome of all the things you may be struggling with. So lighten up, dial it down and pray that we will stop wishing our lives away. Grace and peace,