As you already know, today is Janet’s birthday. What you may not remember is that April 3rd is my parent’s anniversary and if they were still living, tomorrow they would celebrate 66 years of marriage. Unfortunately, Dad died back in 1978 – several months after their 30th anniversary. It’s a little difficult to believe that Janet and I have already been married 10 years longer than my parents were. In fact, I remember when Janet and I, along with my brothers, threw my parents a 25th anniversary party in my folk’s home. I even recall that we served lasagna and all sorts of sides as well.
And then, there’s April 4th. That would have been Dad’s 91st birthday, but he didn’t make it past 55. That’s thirty six years ago – he passed away when our daughter Jill was just 5 months old. What’s even more strange about my recollections of Dad is the fact that Janet’s father lived to 92 and I had the pleasure of knowing him since I was a very young person. While the same holds true of my own father, I never knew him as an older man.
For some reason, time stands still when it comes to my father. I see old pictures of him, when he was back in his thirties, and he could almost be my son instead of the other way around. And it really rocks my world to know that I am six years older that my father was when he died. That’s really bizarre because I have no idea what Dad would look like if he was still alive today. What’s more, to think that Janet and others have had their parents so far into their lives is almost incomprehensible to me – I can’t imagine still having access to Dad.
So as you can see, I become a little reflective each April. With Janet’s birthday, followed by 2 other dates right behind it that have significance in my life, I have ample time to consider what might have been… but wasn’t.
It’s time for me to take stock and reflect on my relationships both on this earth and in heaven. This past year there have been massive changes in almost all areas of my life. Family dynamics have changed, I have additional clients, we have moved and I find that I have even less time for study and the other things I would like to pursue. In all honesty, I don’t think that I can say that I am closer to God than I was last year at this time.
Now don’t get me wrong. I still read the Bible, do my devotions and write this blog each evening. But I can’t say that from a relational aspect I am any closer to God – and that’s a problem. Specifically, were are to grow more like Christ as we have a deeper relationship with Him – it’s called progressive sanctification. It’s time to re-dedicate my efforts in this area. As much as I hate to admit it, I am probably just bone tired…
The verse for tonight reflects the fact that God understands it when we are tired or weary and when, in our humanness, we get sidetracked. From Psalm 63:1, the psalmist tells us, “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” We are told that David, the author of this song, was on the run and he was tired. Yet even in his weariness, he tried to reach out to God. The reference to “no water” means that there weren’t remembrances around David that helped draw him back to God. He had to reach out and once again seek the Father. Because David knew that life without a strong relationship with God was meaningless. That still holds true today.
My encouragement this evening is that you will confess your situation to God. He already knows all about you, but there is something cathartic about coming “clean” with God about where you are in your faith. My prayer is that you will have an authentic conversation with God, discussing your fears and temptations, being drawn closer to God in the process. Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…